The Most Dangerous Thing
Focusing your attention is revolutionary... dangerous not to you, but to a system that profits from your distraction.
Fractured - and oddly caffeinated
Fractured - open tabs to the horizon, forever rushing yet arriving nowhere. Hooked on looped thoughts, tangled in threads of dismay. God, coffee, I adore you, but even you can’t stitch the pieces together when my cursor keeps jittering toward the next dopamine drip.
Breathwork, Breakdown, Breakthrough
Last night I lay on the floor, weeping, shaking, sweating, shouting. I showed up and in the emptying of old holding, I came Home. Here. Now. I saw myself: alone in a room, stockpiling achievements to finally feel enough, while my wife cuddled our baby in the silence of my missing song. I saw myself climbing down a staircase to hell: every click another cracked plank. Focus -that mystical superpower- vanishing into the distance.
Excuses With a View
Yes, money feels urgent. Yet I’m writing this in a beautiful home stocked with kettlebells, a fancy coffee machine, and an embarrassing surplus of organic butter. The excuse leaks: I have become a slave in a self-built cubicle, worshipping a glowing screen of productivity.
Today I closed the extra tabs, went for a walk with our daughter Honey so my wife could rest, lifted heavy things, brewed miraculous beans, and made the hardest choice of the day: to do the one thing that truly fulfils my heart’s heart. Even with every voice of resistance hissing, “Don’t start… you’ll surely fail.”
Why We Need Dangerous Humans
“It is better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war.”
I used to call myself a pacifist; truth is I was just harmless. The world doesn’t need harmless… she needs awake. A dangerous human lives with a blade-sharp focus, pruning noise so truth can breathe.
Even if it’s hopeless. Even if there’s no point. What is worth doing at the end of the world? Whatever keeps the garden alive one more season. Whatever feeds -even in the tiniest of ways- regeneration!
How to Sharpen the Blade
Sleep like it’s sacred, move like it’s medicine.
Eat whole foods.
Say your values out loud until you believe you.
Pick one task, finish it, celebrate. Flow follows devotion.
Touch real humans. Eye contact scrambles the algorithm of isolation.
Walls in the Way of Your Necessary Danger
Distraction - choose your flavour: the 4 Horsemen (social, gaming, porn, binge-watching) or the respectable cousins (over-exercise, busywork, doom-research).
Discomfort - comfort is killing us, friend. Sit with the tight chest; watch the anxiety bark, then yawn, then wander off.
Disappearing - I was a sensitive little sausage who learned to hide behind wooden smiles. Years later I’m still inviting that kid out of the bunker.
Desolation - the voice that says the world would be better off without me. I wrote a song there:
What the hell am I doing here?
What the hell, is anybody there?
What the hell, is anybody there at all?
Adoration can’t penetrate a mind committed to its own exile.
Focus can.
Home Stretch
So here we are…
Two humans, one screen, a universe of distraction buzzing in our pockets. If focus is rebellion, choosing it is liberation.
Close this tab. Feel the chair. Breathe until your jaw unclenches.
Then ask:
What tiny, deliciously dangerous dream does my voice want to sing to?
If a whisper answers, “I want to be heard,” then borrow my ears. Hit reply and we’ll talk.
Your voice has waited long enough. Coffee optional, curiosity required.
I can’t wait to meet the dangerous you.
With love,
Nathan